Thread: Quote of the Day

Every day any members can post a new quote that is funny; racist or other offensive quotes will be edited so that no one is offended.
I'll begin this thread with the first quote of a hopefully fantastic thread.

"We've had triumphs, we've made some mistakes, we've had some sex....setbacks"

George Bush Senior

"Jon Bon Jovi and I have a lot in common. Jon plays the guitar; I like to play the guitar. Jon wears a leather jacket; I like to wear a leather jacket. Jon Bon Jovi was one of the 50 most beautiful people in People magazine; I like to read People magazine."

John Kerry

This isn't a quote, but a short conversation:

DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO

Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.

Well since conversations are allowed and quotes are the standard i got somthing right inbetween:

Taken from a conversation online:

#414593 +(10323)- [X]

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

George W. Bush:
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

'You're horrible... Steven's got a way of making people cry'
- Miss Dinsdale, an English teacher who I made cry.

'You get 10 points for spotting Dev wearing shades indoors and you get 20 points for spotting Dev in the car with his roof down in the rain'

- JK and Joel on The Chris Moyles Show, explaining the points system for Dev Spotting, a well-known Radio 1 game where you get points for seeing Dev Alahan from Coronation Street

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."

-Mark Twain

"some people watch things happen some make things happen and other people ask what just happened"

Hey short Joe: Only the first birthday is a celebration of birth, the rest are a test of lung power, stomache capacity and tolerance for sugar.